The Ligurian Family

20th September, 2009 - Posted by admin - No Comments

The Ligurian Family

The Italian family is proverbially known for its emotional intensity and cohesion in the face of outside influences. Italians define themselves in terms of their family not only out of pride for their social origin and belonging but also because the family offers decisive preconditions for success. It gives logistical and financial support for education (this is in Italy always a family affair, there is no education grant or social welfare aid there) and/or a certain emotional security. It meets the sons and daughters who remain in the family unit longer with a greater tolerance and liberty compared to in the past and. Hence the family as an institution is very highly appreciated by many young people and represents for most young Italians the type of life which they themselves want to live one day.
The father is head of the family but the mother is the predominant personality in an Italian household. She looks after everyone, above all the sons who in Italy have a very strong attachment to the mother.
For financial reasons (see above) many young Italians remain living at home until their wedding and move out only thereafter.
Even after the wedding of their sons Italian mothers play a big role for them. More than 40% of the married men under 65 in Italy live less than a kilometer from their parent’s home (according to the national statistics institute). A good 20% of the men lives in the same part of town. 70% of those who live farther from the parent’s home still call the mother once a day. Besides, almost 80% of married couples who live alone visit their parents at least once a week. Many couples therefore separate because the man cannot really differentiate between his mother and the wife. Interesting also is the fact that many men again move in to live with the mother after separation.

Because of the emotional dependence of the married men on the mother, the family court of the Vatican annulled many church marriages. In 2005 alone the judges of the Sacra Rota in Rome declared a total of 69 marriages null and void. The reason was that the “mammoni” could not reach a decision with the wife without the interference of the mother.
One thing which has served its usefulness in Italy, though, is the cliché of the extended family: Times when several generations sat at a table filling the room, at which lots of children provided for a mess, are a thing of the past. In the 1990s the Italians were at the tail end of Europe’s birth statistics, even if that has changed a little in the recent years. As far as the number of births is concerned, Italy is still at the tail end in Europe. Statistically speaking a woman in Italy has just about 1.2 children, which is less than the EU average of almost 1.5. The modernization of the Italian society, caused by industrialization, migration to the big cities and mobility, has swept the extended family away. Like in many other European countries the “small family” is becoming the rule in Italy too.

Whether small or big The Italian family can still be regarded as an example for cohesion and love of children. And even if the birth rate suggests something else: Italians remain fond of children, and one notices this when one is out and about with the children, whether in town or in the countryside, in the north or in the south. The waiter in the restaurant strokes the little child lovingly on the head, and people with small children are often addressed on the beach or in the promenade with “Ma che carino!” (”What a sweet child”).